


다 거짓말

by So_binie



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Breakup, Depression, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Songfic, selfharm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 04:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 17,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20687501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/So_binie/pseuds/So_binie
Summary: It's all a lieThey say breakups are forgotten with loveIt's all a day, just what the grown ups sayIt may sound childish but I can't help itTrying to live without youThere's nothing more painful than thatNo night more scary than thatAfter I wake up, you're not here





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another Fanfiction and this time it's my babies ASTRO. And because there are so many Binu/Binwoo Fanfictions out there I decided to make my first one a MyungJin one.  
It'll be kinda angsty and sad but there will also be like happy, fluffy and romantic scenes in there.   
It'll be a flashback/past concept on their whole relationship so yeah I hope you like that concept (first time I'm trying it).  
It is also based on their song  
다 거짓말 because I love it. If you don't know the song I also linked it at the beginning ^~^  
Also support ASTRO because I love them and they are talented and they deserve everything.🖤

** _Trying to live without you_ **

** _There's nothing more painful than that_ **

** _No night more scary than that_ **

** _After I wake up, you're not here_ **

Meeting Jinwoo was faith, Myungjun was sure of it but he wasn't sure why they ended up breaking up.

Their relationship was perfect even if nobody knew about it especially not their parents and maybe, Myungjun thought, maybe that was one of the reasons why they broke up.

Maybe it was because of Myungjun's fear of being judged by society.

His fear of getting rejected by his friends and family.

His fear of losing Jinwoo and in the end he managed to do exactly that with his urge to hide his boyfriend at all cost.

Now he lost him, his boyfriend, his love, his everything.

He didn't even know when everything went wrong, it was just over from one day onto the other.

Myungjun didn't even know if it was all his fault, heck he didn't even know who exactly broke up.

They just stopped talking one day and from then on lost their contact.

It wasn't like Myungjun didn't miss Jinwoo, he thought about him everyday but he just couldn't call him, he was afraid to do so especially if the breakup was his fault.

Myungjun loved Jinwoo, it wasn't a crush, he knew it was true love and he still loved him unconditionally.

He didn't know if Jinwoo felt the same but then again why would they have broken up if they truly loved each other?

As the hours became days and the days became weeks Myungjun wanted to forget about Jinwoo, knowing he will never be back in his life.

He tried his hardest to forget about the young man that meant the whole world to him, to forget about their first meeting, the many sleepless nights they spent because they were talking on the phone with each other, their secret but sweet rendezvous's and the nights that held all of their deepest desires and pleasure only to be followed by their many cute morning cuddles.

There were days where everything was absolutely perfect when they would just spend their day together, cuddled up in the bed the whole day or they decided to learn for their upcoming exams in the library, hidden behind books from the curious glances of the others.

There were days when everything felt like it was too much to handle, that the world will be crashing down but they were going through everything together, telling the other that everything will work out in the end and that there is nothing to worry about.

Most of the times it was about Myungjun's fear that someone may find out about their relationship, maybe it was better that Jinwoo left, the older often came to think that.

Jinwoo deserved to be loved by someone wholeheartedly who was not afraid to be seen with him. He deserved someone who could easily express his love for him and not someone like Myungjun who couldn't even tell him that he loves him as a joke in public.

It was then that Myungjun realized that Jinwoo was maybe suffering all this time, only waiting to have a chance to get rid of the older.

He didn't know the truth behind their breakup, he didn't know what or when everything went wrong and he definitely didn't know what Jinwoo was thinking all of this time and he he wasn't sure if he would ever find out, the only thing Myungjun knew for sure that he couldn't live without Jinwoo.

For him Jinwoo was his world, his universe, the reason he existed even if for Jinwoo he was probably just another guy.

And even if it seemed like he should be angry at Jinwoo for leaving him, that he didn't think Myungjun was his world too he just couldn't. Myungjun couldn't be angry at Jinwoo because he wanted him to be happy, all he ever wanted was Jinwoo to be happy and if he can't be happy with Myungjun he thought it was better that he left.

Even if everyday was torture for Myungjun, waking up to an empty bed side, not hearing his laughter and seeing his smile anymore and not getting kissed by him was like hell for Myungjun.

He didn't want to have another boyfriend, he didn't want a girlfriend either, he only wanted Jinwoo back and in order for that he had to know why they broke up in the first place


	2. Chapter 1

** _Jinwoo-yah do you remember when we first met? Do you remember how it felt when we first talked with each other?_ **   
** _Because I do._ **

It was a sunny day in April and Myungjun managed to oversleep that day. Normally he would never oversleep especially not when he had such an important exam as this one, his college entrance exam.

When he was rushing to his classroom he thought he would be able to be there in time, there were only a few minutes left and he could already see his classroom. With a smile he continued his way until he suddenly found himself on the floor again.  
He was confused, he was just running why was he suddenly laying on the floor? When he looked up he saw that he wasn't alone, deep brown eyes looking at him in shock.  
"I'm so sorry. I didn't see you" the other said and Myungjun needed a few seconds to process what he said before he got up and took a closer look at the stranger.  
"Ah it's alright. But I really have to take my exam now" he said with an apologetic smile before he rushed to his classroom.  
"Park Jinwoo. We should grab something to eat, as an apology" the stranger said and Myungjun froze in his spot.  
"Kim Myungjun" he only replied without looking back.  
"It was nice meeting you Myungjun sunbaenim. Good luck on your exam" Jinwoo spoke and left for his own lesson.

Myungjun was surprised, he never saw Jinwoo before and he even knew that he himself was older than him, heck for Myungjun it seemed like he already knew who he was but he didn't have the time to think about it straightaway.  
With a sigh he entered the classroom just in time for his exam, it wasn't even that bad, at least Myungjun felt that it wasn't that hard and there shouldn't be much to worry about.

Even if Myungjun could go back to the dorms after his exam he decided to stay in school. His brain told him that it was only to see his younger friends but deep down inside he knew that he wanted to see Jinwoo again, to talk more with him and to get to know him better so he sat down in the school yard and started to read one of his books. Without noticing time flew by and the next minute he was surrounded by his friends Dongmin and Bin.

"Hyung why are you still here? I thought you had your college entrance exam today" Dongmin asked when he sat down opposite the older boy, a frown visible on his handsome face.  
"I'm only here because of my wonderful friends" Myungjun replied and looked away from his book with a bright smile.  
"Really?"  
"Of course. Why would I lie to you?" Myungjun asked in a fake angry voice.  
"Maybe because you always do? So what's the real reason hyung?" Bin asked again and Dongmin only nodded encouraging.  
"I just didn't want to go back to the dorms" he mumbled and looked around the schoolyard, searching for a certain blonde haired boy.  
"Who are you looking for hyung? Have you finally found a girlfriend?"  
"Hm? I'm looking for no one. Mabye you should wear your glasses more often Binnie" the oldest teased and hoped they would believe him.  
"Should we go eat something hyung? I'm starving" Bin said without even replying to Myungjun's statement.  
"I think it's a good idea. I haven't eaten all day" Dongmin said and Myungjun's stomach also growled at the mention of food.  
"Alright then let's go" Myungjun happily said but looked around the yard again but had no luck in spotting Jinwoo.

'I'll probably see him never again. I saw him the first time today so I should just forget about him' he thought while trailing behind his friends who were already talking about what to eat.  
Jinwoo was just a student like everyone else but Myungjun just couldn't get him out of his mind, his thoughts always going back to their encounter this morning. His smile was already burned into Myungjun's memory and he couldn't help but smile at his reaction this morning.

Park Jinwoo didn't only look good, he also was adorable like a little puppy when he realized he bumped into Myungjun, afraid that he's hurt. He liked the younger's dark brown eyes and he liked his blonde hair, it made him stand out from the rest but what Myungjun liked the most about Jinwoo was his smile. The way his eyes turned into crescents when he smiled was just adorable and that was exactly the image he had in his mind, replaying over and over again.

"Hyung what do you want?" Dongmin suddenly asked him, he didn't realize they already arrived.  
"Oh I'll just take Bibimbap" he mumbled and looked around the crowded place.  
"You can already sit down. I'll order" Dongmin said but Bin shook his head.  
"I'll help you carry it but hyung can you maybe search for a free table?" Bin asked and Myungjun only nodded before he left his friends in the queue and started wandering through the restaurant, hoping there would be a free table hidden somewhere. He was just about to give up when he finally saw one, a bright smile forming on his face while walking up to it. He was about to reach it when he finally felt someone bumping into him.

"I'm sorry" they said at the same time and Myungjun thought he was hallucinating, the voice sounded exactly like Jinwoo's when they bumped into each other this morning.  
Taking a deep breath Myungjun looked up only to see the blonde haired boy staring at him in disbelief before he smiled a little.

"Seems like we were destined to meet again. At least you're still standing this time. How was your exam?" Jinwoo asked and a smile formed on Myungjun's face.  
"Seems like it. Thank you for asking, I guess it was alright" he mumbled.  
"I'm glad to hear that. I was sure you would have no problem with it" Jinwoo replied.  
Myungjun was about to say something when a shrill voice startled him.  
"Jinwoo hyung we're here".  
"Sorry my friends are waiting but it was nice to meet you again."  
And just like that Jinwoo left, leaving Myungjun with a soft blush and his churning stomach.


	3. Chapter 2

** _For the first time, it hurt a lot_ **

** _I cried out loud in my room_ **

** _When I woke up and saw myself_ **

** _My eyes were really puffy, because of you_ **

Myungjun wished it wouldn't be true, that Jinwoo only forgot to contact him, that he maybe lost his phone but when he received a message from Jinwoo saying they can't meet anymore his heart broke.

He wanted to ask him why, wanted to confront him in person but he couldn't, because he didn't want to be seen as pathetic when they broke up. He didn't want to be remembered as pathetic and naive so he just texted back an okay and turned off his phone before he went back into his bed and cried his eyes out.

He didn't want this to be true, he hoped that it was a nightmare and he would wake up to Jinwoo holding him tightly, asking him what's wrong but when Myungjun woke up in the evening he was still alone and a look in the mirror confirmed his swollen and red eyes, an obvious sign that he was crying the whole day.

He looked horrible, he knew it but he didn't care. Jinwoo wasn't around anymore so who cared if he looked good or not? He was never really confident in his appearance anyways, not until he met Jinwoo.

His sweet, sweet Jinwoo who was never afraid to tell him how he really felt, he always told him how beautiful he looked even in the morning with tousled hair and eyes swollen from sleep, Jinwoo always complimented his boyfriend and it always seemed genuine.

Myungjun never thought Jinwoo ever lied to him, the only time he lied was because of him when his parents asked about their relationship.

Myungjun told him he didn't want to tell them in advance so Jinwoo had to lie to his own parents in order to make Myungjun happy.

Everyone had flaws, he did have more than one, but his fear of rejection was definitely Myungjun's biggest flaw.

Jinwoo learnedto live with Myungjun's flaws, he even learned to love it and the older loved him even more for that.

Myungjun felt empty inside, he already cried the whole day but he didn't feel anything at all. That wasn't until he decided to eat something and saw their latest picture together on their fridge.

It was only a few weeks old, it was taken when they decided to head out for Starbucks. It wasn't really romantic and most of the costumers were either businessmen who needed a coffee before rushing to their next meeting or students who met up with their friends after school, after all it was a public place. Something Myungjun absolutely disliked when he was with Jinwoo because he had to act as if they were just friends.

He talked about it a lot with his boyfriend but Jinwoo's reply was always "We can still tell the others, they wouldn't mind it and I don't care about strangers. They can think whatever they want."

Maybe Jinwoo was right after all but for Myunjun it was indeed important what others thought about him.

It was one of the things his parents always told him. When he was a child his mother always told him to make sure to make a good first impression, he never knew when he would meet the people he had already met again. He didn't know who would be his future boss so he had to take care of his image and when Myungjun grew up and saw how people who are different were treated by society he got scared.

He knew that in this society he couldn't just walk around with his boyfriend like every other girl did, he knew it was impossible to maintain a good image so he could get a good job later and be happy with his boyfriend in public at the same time.

And now he was alone, he wouldn't have to care about that anymore. He had no one to hide anymore, it was only him now.

With a sigh he turned away from the fridge, he wasn't hungry anymore and removed the picture in the process. He didn't want to see how happy he was back then, how happy Jinwoo looked to be by his side. He wanted to throw it away but he couldn't. Instead he ended up sitting down on his bed, looking at the picture while more tears were rolling down his cheeks. He loved the picture just as much as he loves Jinwoo, his first love. Jinwoo who showed him how beautiful he was, who showed him that it wasn't that hard to trust someone, to love someone with everything they had and still Myungjun couldn't love him enough to tell the world about his feelings for the younger. He was too much of a coward, he chose the easiest way for him and didn't even care what Jinwoo wanted, he never asked him if it was okay for him to hide their relationship. He just assumed that it was, that if Jinwoo really loves him he would have no problem with it.

He realized that he was a horrible boyfriend, there were so many times Jinwoo comforted him when he was breaking down in fear of being found out or when he simply couldn't handle the stress at school anymore and never once was he there for his own boyfriend instead he always sensed when his friends were feeling down and comforted them, cheered them up. All of this time Jinwoo watched him with a small smile, telling him that he was a good friend because he was always there for them and everytime Myungjun could only smile at his boyfriend's words, never once did he notice the sad sparkle in Jinwoo's eyes.


	4. Chapter 3

** _I still remember when you finally asked me out Jinwoo-yah._ **

** _Do you remember how happy I was back then?_ **

It has been a few weeks since their first encounter and Myungjun couldn't hide his happiness when he saw Jinwoo again the next day, this time the younger didn't leave that fast.This time Jinwoo didn't leave without Myungjun's number and the promise they'll eat together, Jinwoo's way of apologizing and Myungjun couldn't have been happier about it.

It has only been 2 days after their first encounter when Jinwoo invited him out for dinner and they got along perfectly, it didn't matter that Jinwoo was in fact 2 years younger than him but he was already used being the oldest, after all Dongmin was 3 and Bin 4 years younger than him. Myungjun had to admit that Jinwoo wasn't only cute, he also had a good sense of humor, laughing at everyone of Myungjun's jokes.

Myungjun felt even happier whenever he was with Jinwoo, he could make him feel better only with his smile and Myungjun was sure he never wanted to miss this in his life ever again.

So when it was finally time for their first date Myungjun was freaking out about it. He didn't know what to wear and he couldn't ask his friends about it without telling them why he needed to dress up.

It was agonizing for him to sit in front of his wardrobe while looking at the clock, telling him he had only half an hour left.

With a sigh he got up and searched for his phone, finding it in a stack of clothes he definitely wasn't going to wear.

He dialed a familiar number and waited impatiently for the other person to pick up, wandering around the whole room until he heard her voice.

"Eomma I need your help" he whined and looked into his reflection in the mirror.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

"I'm going out with someone today and I don't know what to wear."

"Just wear something not too overdressed but also not too casually. Don't worry she'll even like you if you're wearing nothing at all" she replied and Myungjun felt his cheeks heat up.

"Ah eomma don't say such things".

"I'm sorry but I'm sure she'll fall for you. Good luck with your date" she said and ended the call, Myungjun knew she had to get to work.

With a sigh he sat back down in front of his wardrobe and looked through it again.

"Ah why does everything look so horrible? What are you doing to me Park Jinwoo" he whined and picked up the next shirt he saw.

"It has to be good enough."

After getting dressed Myungjun realized he was almost too late and quickly exited his room while rushing to the restaurant Jinwoo suggested only to already see him waiting in front. The restaurant wasn't too fancy but it also looked pretty promising.

"Hey I'm sorry for letting you wait so long. It's just I couldn't really decide on what to wear" he admitted with an embarrassed giggle.

"Don't worry you're not too late. Also I like your outfit" Jinwoo remarked, a soft blush spreading on Myungjun's cheeks. Myungjun hated to admit it but this was his first proper date in his whole 18 years and he was more nervous than ever in his life. The only thing he hoped for was that it wouldn't be too akward between them.

Once they were seated and ordered their food Myungjun realized that there was nothing to be afraid of. There was no awkward silence or tension, it was as if they would know each other for years, their conversation never ending even when their food arrived and Myungjun really had to admit he never ate such good food before, grateful that Jinwoo bunped into him and that he had the chance to meet him.

Even after they finished their dinner they didn't want to leave just yet. It was Myungjun who suggested to stay out a little bit longer, talking a walk . It was already pretty warm despite being April so they really made the best out of it. They completely lost track of the time but it wasn't until Jinwoo received a call from his angered roommate, telling him that it was already past their curfew in their dorms.

Giggling and talking they made their way back to the dorms, taking longer than they would actually need but they weren't ready to leave the other just yet.

When they arrived at the dorm complex the mood wasn't as good as it was before, Myungjun reluctant to leave Jinwoo's side and to return to his lonely single room. They sat in silence on the stairs from the big building, staring up into the night sky when a shooting star appeared for a few seconds.

"Did you make a wish?" Myungjun curiously asked and looked over at the blonde boy beside him.

"I did even if it was selfish" he replied and teared his gaze away from the night sky and into Myungjun's eyes. Myungjun felt mesmerized by the younger's deep brown eyes, feeling completely lost in the depths and beauty of it that he didn't realize the younger shifting closer to him.

"Mine was selfish too. My wish was to repeat this. I really like you Jinwoo" Myungjun blurted out and felt a finger on his lips.

"You shouldn't tell me your wish or else it won't be granted. But I think this is an exception" Jinwoo replied and removed his hand from Myunjun's mouth.

"What did you wish for?"

"Honestly I had the same wish as you" the younger replied and moved one of his hands up to Myunjun's cheeks.

"So our second date is safe?" Myungjun asked, leaning closer to the younger.

"Most definitely" Jinwoo replied and dared to lean even closer, their lips almost touching.

"Actually I wished for more" Jinwoo admitted, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

"You did? Because I also did" Myungjun mumbled and seconds later he felt Jinwoo's lips against his own, softly kissing the older boy.


	5. Chapter 4

** _That kiss, our first kiss was the beginning of something wonderful if it had only lasted longer._ **

** _This day I felt complete, safe and like nothing could ever harm me._ **

** _I was surprised that our wish was granted so easily. Maybe it's not true what people say about shooting stars. Maybe you're allowed to say you're wish out loud._ **

Myungjun felt shy this night. He was actually embarrassed because of his lack of dating in his whole 18 years but Jinwoo made him relaxed even if he felt like his heart would burst out of his chest.

He never was in love before but he knew that Jinwoo wasn't just a friend to him, that kiss meant more than just being friends that was for sure.

„When can we meet again?" Myungjun asked while they were standing in front of the door.

„Whenever you want. Tomorrow?" Jinwoo replied and created a smile on Myungjun's lips.

„I'd love to" the older replied and yawned, a look at his watch telling him that it was already past midnight.

„I think I should go back to my dorm. We'll see each other tomorrow?"

Myungjun nodded at that and felt his cheeks blush again when he felt the younger's lips on his again, gently kissing him before he pulled away and stepped down the stairs.

„I'll pick you up at 10 tomorrow. Sleep well" Jinwoo said before he disappeared into the dark spring night. Paralyzed Myungjun stood in front of his door, his hand slowly traveling up to brush his lips in a mixture of disbelief and sheer happiness.

That night it took him ages to fall asleep, his mind always replaying the events of the day especially the part where Jinwoo just kissed him. It made Myungjun wonder if they were in a relationship or not, he decided he would ask Jinwoo this the next day. When he finally fell asleep he only dreamt of Jinwoo and maybe even himself, picturing the both of them together after all Jinwoo told him that he wished for more before he kissed him.

When he woke up at 9:30 AM he almost got an heart attack, remembering that Jinwoo said he would be here at 10 AM. Quickly he rushed into his small bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for the day, not enough time to eat something before the clock struck 10. He hoped that his outfit wasn't too casual but he was relieved that Jinwoo was also wearing a hoodie when he stepped outside.

„Good morning" Jinwoo greeted when he saw Myungjin emerge from the dorm.

„Good morning Jinwoo-yah."

„How about having breakfast together? In case you haven't eaten yet" Jinwoo suggested while they walked to the bus station.

„That does sound perfect. I actually just woke up" he replied while they waited for the bus to arrive.

„Thank you again for yesterday" Myungjun mumbled, content how close he was to the younger due to the crowd of other people waiting for the bus.

„I'm glad if you had fun yesterday also that you're willing to spend more time with me" Jinwoo replied and Myungjun could swear he felt him move even a bit closer.

„You can be. It's not my style to fall for younger guys" he giggled and noticed how easily he told Jinwoo that he likes him.

„I thought all of your friends are younger than you" Jinwoo replied back teasingly hearing a gasp from the older.

„True but they are only my friends. You, on the other hand, it don't want you as only my friend" he mumbled while blushing. He was never this bold especially not when he was surrounded by strangers.

Instead of an answer Myungjun felt Jinwoo grab his hand and drag him into the bus that arrived just on time. Quickly he dragged the older to the end of the bus and pulled him down beside him, his hand not pulling away even when they were seated, making Myungjun blush.

„Have you really thought that I only want you as my friend after what happened yesterday?" Jinwoo asked once they were driving.

„I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't want to assume anything."

„I planned this a bit more romantic but it seems like you don't want to wait anymore" Jinwoo sighed and Myungjun looked at him confused.

„W-what do you mean?" he stuttered, completely forgetting about all the other people in the bus.

„Kim Myungjun, would you do me the favor of being my boyfriend?" he asked and chuckled a bit when he saw the older's jaw hanging open in shock.

After a few moments of him just staring he shook is head to go back to reality.

„Are you serious? You really want me?" he asked in disbelief and Jinwoo just nodded.

„I'd love to" the younger said to prove his point.

„I- I yes of course I want to" Myungjun finally stuttered out, an excited grin spreading on his face.

Half an hour later they reached their destination, their hands still tightly clasped together but hidden by their oversized hoodies, after all it still wasn't really respected to be gay in Korea.

Myungjun didn't know where Jinwoo would take him and was greatly surprised when he found himself in front of a café at the very top of a skyscraper.

„Are you kidding me right now? It looks too expensive" Myungjun mumbled while they were guided to a table.

„Don't worry it's not as expensive as it looks and their food is amazing."

Sighing Myungjun followed, surprised when they were seated directly at the window with the best view.

„I hope you're not fearing heights" Jinwoo said after he saw the older's surprised look.

„It's not that but how did you know of this place?"

„I've been here with my parents before and I loved it. I always wanted to come back again" Jinwoo simply replied before he looked back at the menu.

Myungjun couldn't help but look at the younger boy in front of him, his blonde hair falling softly over his eyes while reading through the menu made him look adorable, reminding Myungjun that he was actually only 16 years old.

This day was one Myungjun would never forget, the happiness he felt when Jinwoo asked him to be his boyfriend, the surprise he felt when Jinwoo brought him to the café and most importantly all of the emotions he felt when Jinwoo walked him back home, not leaving without kissing him softly and promising to meet him tomorrow again.

This day was definitely the happiest day in Myungjun's life so far.


	6. Chapter 5

** _I tried to erase your memories_ **

** _Your pictures, your number_ **

** _But I keep wanting to see you_ **

** _The day we were supposed to meet_ **

** _Is getting closer but you're not here_ **

The following days and weeks were even more suffocating than the first few days of their breakup.

Myungjun tried everything to forget about Jinwoo, he tried everything but he didn't succeed. Sometimes he managed to forget about him for a few hours when he was with his friends but as soon as he returned home the image of Jinwoo popped up in his head. He often caught himself staring at pictures of them together. He tried to throw them away but as soon as he ripped the first picture he started sobbing and crying, it pained him too much and everytime he was about to delete Jinwoo's number he heard the voice in his head saying 'don't delete it' so he never did.

There was not a single day he was genuinely happy after Jinwoo left, not a single day he could stop thinking about him and not a single day he didn't yearn for his touch.

Jinwoo was the first one to win over Myungjun's heart and he was also the first one who broke his heart. Myungjun thought he could live without Jinwoo around but in reality he couldn't, he was already so used to him, he had taken him for granted and now he was gone. He didn't know what Jinwoo was thinking, he hasn't seen him ever since he last wrote him. Myungjun began wondering if Jinwoo was okay, if he was still alive but it stopped when he saw a picture of him and a girl together. He didn't knew if she was his girlfriend but he smiled, a genuine smile, he seemed happy so Myungjun was happy too even if it was only for the few hours in school with his friends. Bin and Dongmin didn't realize what was really going on in Myungjun's life, after all he never told them about his relationship with Jinwoo so he couldn't just run to them and cry his eyes out. It was hard to pretend he was okay, that he was the happy person they were all used too, it was really hard for Myungjun but he still put on this mask everyday and decided to just fake his happiness in which he succeeded.

As soon as he was at home his smile dropped and he looked around his apartment as if he was searching for something or in this case someone. After all these weeks he still hoped it was a nightmare he would wake up from and see Jinwoo standing right in front of him. It was then when he remembered that they wanted to visit the beach during their holidays, it was supposed to be their happy time to get a rest of all the stress and now Myungjun didn't know what to do. He was supposed to be with Jinwoo but he's gone, he won't come back that soon if he'll ever come back anyways.

Dongmin and Bin were surprised when Myungjun asked them if they want to go to the beach together, saying he won the trip.

Even if it seemed a little bit strange to them they agreed. Seeing his friends so happy about the trip he remembered how happy Jinwoo was when he told him

about it. The more Myungjun thought about it the sadder he got, he knew that he made mistakes but they didn't even fight before breaking up and it was hurting Myungjun the most. He often thought about it, if it would have been easier if they fought beforehand or at least talked about it but now he was left with nothing, not prepared for this in the slightest.

More days passed and Myungjun felt even sadder, his mind constantly wandering back to Jinwoo, not letting him think about something else. Myungjun was slowly crumbling and he had no one to help him, he wanted no one to help him only one person who he knew wouldn't come back. He truly loved Jinwoo and he always thought that their memories together would make him happy when he would think about them as an old man but now he could only cry when he thought back. The memories were painful, more than he would have ever thought. It has been 4 years since he met Jinwoo, he was suprised at how confident he was with his 16 years and that he didn't care about the age gap. After enrolling in the same university as Myungjun they decided to share the same dorm, to create their own little place where they could be together, without fearing of getting caught, it was perfect.

Now the apartment felt cold, lonely and too big for one person even if it has always been small and cramped. It quickly became their own home, their safe haven packed with all of their memories together, all of their memories as a couple. Being alone was a torture for the older, feeling trapped in a nightmare he couldn't wake up from constantly reminding him about what he lost.

He blamed himself, he was sure that Jinwoo couldn't stand him anymore, that the hiding got too much for him, the thought alone pained Myungjun.

He felt worse every day, skipping university because he didn't have the nerves to fake his smile for a whole day while he was slowly dying inside. He ignored the phone calls he received from Bin and Dongmin and he also wasn't really keen on seeing his other friends Sanha and Minhyuk, friends he only made because of Jinwoo.

Minhyuk and Sanha were still in high school but it never made a difference to them. They were energetic and bubbly, especially Sanha that's why he got along extremely well with Myungjun when they first met.

Even if he felt like he was slowly dying inside Myungjun couldn't be angry at Jinwoo for leaving him. He knew that he must have had a reason for leaving and if he should ever come back to him Myungjun would be ready to forgive him, he would always welcome him with open arms. All he wanted was to have his first love back.


	7. Chapter 6

** _It's all a lie,_ **

** _They say breakups are forgotten with love_ **

** _It's all a day just what the grown ups say_ **

** _It may sound childish but I can't help it_ **

It wasn't really a surprise when Myungjun first cracked under the pressure of always trying to be his old happy self.

It took only one word for Myungjun to snap and let his smile fade, it was enough for Sanha to only mention Jinwoo's name.

He managed to play it off, to tell them

he just was tired and not in a good mood in order for the other's not to get suspicious and gladly they believed him. After their dinner together Myungjun quickly headed back to his home.

He didn't know how he was still able to continue like he did when all he wanted was to lay down in bed and not go out anymore. He didn't want to meet new people or forget about Jinwoo, he didn't need another boy to replace him because he could never be replaced, at least not in Myungjun's heart.

He didn't know what he was thinking when he pulled out an album full of pictures either he or Jinwoo took. He knew that it was cheesy but it seemed like a good idea back then.

Slowly he looked through the pictures, tears staining the pictures and making their colors fade a little. Especially one picture captured Myungjun's interest as he couldn't tear his gaze away from it. It was a picture he received from Jinwoo during Chuseok, they were both spending the holidays with their families. It has been a few months after they started dating and Myungjun really missed the younger during these few days. One evening he received a letter, sent as anonymous making him wonder who would send him a letter during the holidays.

When he opened it he saw Jinwoo's picture inside, on the back a small message.

Happy Chuseok. I hope you have a good holiday and enjoy the time with your family. Also I miss you and look forward to seeing you again <3

Reading the message he cried even more, sobs escaping his mouth as he clasped the picture to his chest while letting all of his emotions out.

„I miss you too Jinwoo-yah. Please come back to me" he whispered in between sobs, the painful memories piercing through him like a sword, his heart aching with every beat.

He didn't know how long he sat there until he fell asleep. The next thing he noticed was the ringing of his doorbell but he was too tired to open it so instead he ignored it, hoping whoever was bothering him would just leave him alone. Another ring sounded through the small apartment but it didn't bother Myungjun in the slightest instead he drifted back off to sleep, into a dream where he was reunited with Jinwoo, a dream that held all of his deepest wishes.

It was already after midnight when he woke up again, his head hurting from all the crying and his limbs aching from the uncomfortable position he was in. He carefully placed the picture back into the photo album and put it away before he grabbed his keys and left the dorm in need of fresh air.

He sat down in front of the dorm complex, the exact same place he was sitting with Jinwoo a few years ago on their first day. He felt new tears well up but didn't let them out, instead he smiled when he saw a shooting star in the sky.

Quickly he closed his eyes before the star was gone.

„I know that you granted my wish a few years ago so please do it again. Please bring Jinwoo back, I won't make the same mistakes. This time I want to do everything right so please bring him back to me" he said, his eyes still closed with Jinwoo's image before them.

„Please I won't ask for more. He is everything I need" he said choking, stray tears rolling down his cheek before he opened his eyes again. The silence of the night was relaxing even comforting for the older but also lonely when he created one of his happiest moments in life at this exact place. Jinwoo entered his life out of nowhere and he left as quickly as he came. Even after all these years he was still a mystery to him, he never knew everything about him. There was always a small part of him kept as a secret, something Jinwoo didn't want to talk about, something that made Myungjun wonder now if it even was entirely his fault or if it was this hidden part of the younger telling him to leave. He knew he probably would never find out but it still made him curious, the first real emotion apart from sadness he felt after the breakup. Now Myungjun finally had something else to think about, something that was out of his control and that he wasn't able to influence. Everyone had a part of themselves hidden deep within them in order for nobody to find out, for Myungjun he already knew what his secret was but he had no idea what a person like Jinwoo could possibly hide from other people in order not to worry or hurt them. Secret was the last thing that came to Myungjun's mind while thinking about the younger, he was always so open and willing to talk, there were times Myungjun thought he was able to read him like a book but now he had a completely different view about the things he said and done in these past few years. He was determined to find out what his secret was, something bad enough to scare him to the point of hurting other people because of it. Myungjun's hope was that maybe he would be able to find Jinwoo and bring him back after he knew what was bothering him. This night Myungjun found new hope, hope of seeing Jinwoo again and finally having back his boyfriend.


	8. Chapter 7

** _2 years. That was the biggest difference between us, our age._ **

** _I remember when you finally graduated. It has also been 2 years after we started dating. I was proud of you, I wasn't only your boyfriend at this time but also you're best friend, at least when we were out in public._ **

Graduation. Everyone was waiting for this moment to finally happen. It was the same when Myungjun graduated and now he felt the same emotions he felt during his own. He was proud but not of him, he was proud of his boyfriend, a bright smile on his lips while he received his leaving certificates, standing out from all of the other students because of his bright blonde hair.

Myungjun couldn't wait to finally hug him, telling him how proud he was but he knew he couldn't, not at school and especially not when his parents were around.

He already planned on taking him out today, celebrating his special day and also asking him something he waited a long time for.

After the ceremony was over Myungjun watched him walk over to his parents, happily being embraced by them, probably talking about his grades and his choice of university. All this while Myungjun stayed at his seat, not wanting to interrupt the happy family. He was completely lost in thoughts so he was startled when he felt himself being pulled up and dragged away.

„Jinwoo-yah wait" he said shortly before they reached his parents, making the younger look at him curiously.

„Congratulations. I'm proud of you" he said and smiled even brighter when he saw the soft blush ghosting over Jinwoo's cheeks.

„Thank you" he mumbled, it was the first time Myungjun saw him flustered and he thought it was adorable.

„Come my parents wanted to meet you" he replied before it would be even more embarrassing, chuckling Myungjun followed him.

„Eomma, appa let me introduce you. This is Kim Myungjun" Jinwoo happily said while they were bowing to each other.

„The reason why I introduced you is because I'll go to the same college and I hoped that maybe you're in need of a roommate" he continued, surprising Myungjun.

„You want to move in with me?" the older exclaimed shocked, not believing his ears.

„Only if you're alright with it."

„Of course I am. I still have enough space left" he quickly said,now he was flustered.

„Myungjun-ah do you want to go eat with us now? After all we still need to celebrate and this way we'll get to know more about you since Jinwoo will live with you" Jinwoo's mother said to which he happily agreed, following them to the restaurant they've chosen.

Even if Myungjun felt like he was about to die because of nervousness it quickly vanished, getting along very well with Jinwoo's family.

They didn't seem to notice that his relationship with their son was more than just friendship so he was a lot more relaxed, having a lot of fun with everyone.

Time seemed to pass very quick when it was spent with good conversations and food, everything was almost perfect.

Myungjun was oblivious to Jinwoo's thoughts but seeing how happy he looked he had an idea of what he was thinking, the most important thing probably that they were all getting along well.

It was all of a sudden that his smile dropped for a split second, one second Myungjun noticed but shrugged it off as he noticed his usual smile on his face again.

„Myungjun-ah is it really okay to share your dorm with Jinwoo? I mean after all he's still younger" his mother asked a little worried.

„It's no problem at all Mrs Park. All of my friends are a few years younger than me and it doesn't bother me at all" he politely replied, a wide smile on his face as he continued eating.

„I'm relieved. Even if I met you for the first time today it seems like you two are really close."

„Eomma you don't have to worry so much about me. We know each other for 2 years now. I think Myungjun hyung would have told me if he didn't like me anymore" Jinwoo replied and made everyone smile at that.

„Of course we worry about you, you're only 18 years old. You're still so young" his father pointed out making him blush.

„Appa don't say such things. That's

embarrassing" Jinwoo whined while covering his face and it took Myungjun everything not to lean over and plant a kiss onto his lips because he looked extremely adorable.

„Just wait until you'll introduce a girlfriend to us it will be even more embarrassing. We'll tell her all of the things you did as a kid" his father teased, making him blush even more especially because it was basically the same thing right now but without his parents knowing.

„Myungjun-ah I hope you know a good girl for our son. He's always so lazy when it comes to meeting girls."

„Eomma I told you that I don't need a girlfriend. When will you finally drop this matter?" the younger asked her and Myungjun felt guilty for making him lie about their relationship.

„I want to see my grandchildren before I die but you'll never have kids if you're not getting a girlfriend" she complained and Myungjun felt his stomach churn, knowing exactly that Jinwoo will never be able to have kids because of him.

„Excuse me for a second please. I need a bit of fresh air" he apologized before he quickly got out taking a deep breath.

He didn't know how long he was just standing there and staring into the sky but it was obviously too long as he suddenly heard Jinwoo's voice.

„Is everything alright. Was it because of what she said?"

„I just feel like I ruined your whole future. You know that no one will ever accept ‚us'. My mother always told me that it's most important what other people think about you" he mumbled, not daring to look at Jinwoo.

„It's been 2 years and you still worry about the same. Is that it? Do you want to break up? Now?" Jinwoo asked, shocking Myungjun.

„Don't you want to make your parents proud? They want grandchildren but we can't get pregnant. It's impossible."

„Myungjun this is not about my parents. What do you want? What does your heart tell you? To break up with me or to stay with me?"

This one question left him speechless, staring at Jinwoo as if he'd seen a ghost, all kinds of answers rushing through his head.

„You already know the answer" he timidly replied, not feeling like the oldest at all.

„But I want to hear it from you" Jinwoo replied with a smile.

„I want to stay with you."


	9. Chapter 8

** _Our first day of living together was unforgettable for me. It was a day that didn't only made us feel more mature than before but also a day that showed how strong our love was. It was_ **

** _the first time for us but it was unforgettable and beautiful._ **

It has been 2 weeks after Jinwoo's graduation when he finally moved in with Myungjun. His parents were a little worried after Myungjun hastily left the restaurant but they were quickly reassured when he told them he just had a bad day and that he felt a bit dizzy that time. It didn't took them long to organize the small apartment and to decorate it the way both of them wanted so now they sat on their bed happily glancing around their apartment, finally they could be together every day.

Most of the evening they just sat there in silence, Myunjun's head leaned against Jinwoo's chest while the younger continued to play with his hair. It wasn't awkward at all, both of them trapped in their own thoughts for a few hours, occasionally talking before they continued to revel in the calming silence. It lasted only until Myungjun had enough of it and wanted to spend his time doing other things. He hadn't planned any of this but he wasn't complaining when Jinwoo silenced his rambling with a kiss, chaste and soft at first until it developed into a more passionate, less innocent kiss. Slowly he guided the older dowm on their bed until he was lying down, the kiss not broken once. There was no pressure or hurry and this was exactly what Myungjun always wanted. No words were needed to know that neither of them wanted to stop at this point, the almost inaudible groan that left Myunjun's lips when Jinwoo pulled away only encouraged him more. Another kiss was shared, slow and sensual, before Myungjun tugged onto the younger's shirt. He let his hands slip under and softly slid them over Jinwoo's back before he managed to pull the shirt off. He was pleasantly surprised to see the prominent abs of his boyfriend, softly running his fingers over every muscle until he kissed the younger again, his shirt was also gone in an instant.

It wasn't rushed or pressured, it was perfect in Myunjun's eyes. He loved the way their bodies perfectly fit together or the way Jinwoo looked at him with all of his love visible in his eyes before he pressed another kiss onto his lips. Myungjun was absolutely in love with Jinwoo, in love with them. Jinwoo was gentle and caring, everything Myungjun always wanted in a partner. He wanted someone who'd understand him and someone who could make him happy with even the smallest things and Jinwoo was exactly this kind of person. This night he felt like they were made for each other, low and high pitched moans perfectly harmonizing in the silent apartment and even after they both calmed down from their high everything still felt like pure bliss.

The rest of the night was spent with Myungjun cuddled up to Jinwoo, his head resting on his bare chest as the younger drew small patterns all over the older's back, talking about the past and the future. He never thought he would love someone as much as he loved Jinwoo, he especially realized it this night.

„What are you thinking about. You've been quiet for the past 15 minutes" Jinwoo asked as he realized how deep the older was in his own world.

„About you. About us and how much I love you. Thank you for being so patient with me and for being so caring" he said while resting his chin on his chest to look up into the youngers eyes.

„You're precious to me, more than anyone else. I sometimes like to think that loving you wasn't a choice but fate. You are so incredibly perfect to me and even now you look the most beautiful" Jinwoo replied while running his fingers through Myungjun's tangled hair, smiling at the memories of the evening.

A few years ago Myungjun would have probably snorted at that, not believing any of the words but Jinwoo was different from everyone else he knew. Jinwoo was honest and sweet and understanding, he was his perfect partner, his other half and at some point Myungjun was sure that Soulmates would be an even better fitting word.

„I love you Jinwoo, I love you so much" Myungjun whispered, his hand intertwining with the youngers and Jinwoo couldn't help but smile at that. It seemed so simple to say I love you, so natural but Jinwoo knew it wasn't. It was so much more, so much deeper than it seemed and something that wasn't easy for Myungjun to say. When Jinwoo asked him out he soon found out how much Myungjun doubted himself, how much he hated to admit his feelings for any other boy. He feared the opinion of others and a society full of hate but with Jinwoo it wasn't that scary anymore. In these past 2 years he improved a lot, he still had doubts and hated the way other people looked at them but as long as he was with Jinwoo it was okay.

„I love you too. So much more than words can explain" he whispered back making this moment even more intimate.

Soon they fell asleep in each others arms, enjoying the warmth the other provided and cuddling even closer. It was their first night together in their apartment and also the night they first made love, making it unforgettable for the both of them. No matter what anyone ever said but to Jinwoo Myungjun was still beautiful when they woke up in the morning, his hair tousled and his throat horse. And Myungjun knew how happy he was with a boyfriend like Jinwoo. That night would always be engraved into their minds, a night full of love and honesty.


	10. Chapter 9

** _Trying to live without you,_ **

** _there's nothing more painful than that_ **

** _No night more scary than that_ **

** _After I wake up, you're not here_ **

After he saw that shooting star Myungjun was determined to find out about Jinwoo's secret, he just couldn't continue any longer without him.

Every night was a torture, the bed was too big and empty for him and he always had nightmares only wishing for Jinwoo to come

back and calm him down, telling him that it was only a dream and that he was always there for him. But everything felt so real so Myungjun knew he wasn't dreaming, he knew that Jinwoo was away and no one knew where he was or why he left. Not only was he worried and hurting also every single one of their friends worried about him, hoping he would be okay.

They didn't talk about it often but it was obvious that he was missing, he and Myungjun always created a good mood and ever since he left it was like all of their happiness left them.

He already stopped counting the days or how many sleepless nights he had after Jinwoo left him. He was tired, he didn't know how long he could continue like this but he was determined to hold on, for Jinwoo. He needed to know why he left him or if he still loved him and if there was any chance for him to come back. He finally had a bit of hope left and even without his friends he managed to socialize a bit more. This morning he voluntarily stood up at 7 AM to buy groceries and to clean the small apartment. It didn't took him long to buy the few groceries he needed but he decided to stay out a bit longer. It wasn't actually as bad as in the beginning of their breakup. He spent almost his whole morning in the park looking at the picture of Jinwoo in his wallet, a small smile on his face. It was the first time he didn't cry while looking at a picture of him. It was taken shortly after they started dating and were on another date, Myungjun of course brought his new camera. He couldn't help it and snapped this picture of his boyfriend, happy how it came out. Even if Jinwoo sometimes seemed annoyed by it he never was, he couldn't be mad or annoyed by ir because of the older.

It was a happy memory for Myungjun and his smile grew even bigger as he remembered more details, how warm it was and how much fun they had together. They were still so young, 16 and 18, it was a time Myungjun wished he could return to. He wanted to experience it all again, without fearing anything or hiding. He just wanted to be happy and to make Jinwoo happy, he relied too much on the younger and he wanted to make up for it. Jinwoo never complained about it, Myungjun was so incredibly grateful to have Jinwoo in his life. He could always rely on him, talk with him about his fears and insecurities but realized that Jinwoo also had his own problems way too late.

When he was on his way back home he received a message from Dongmin, asking him to meet him and the rest of their friends for lunch. When he met them he didn't feel as sad or broken anymore, he felt better seeing them happy and the more time he spent with them the happier he got. The others didn't notice, they still had no idea that he was suffering so much so he didn't have to explain the sudden change of his mood. If he had known what was about to come he probably wouldn't have agreed to meet them for lunch. Shortly before they finished eating the topic changed and Myungjun should have known that after all these weeks they would start talking about Jinwoo again. It was Sanha who brought him up again and Myungjun couldn't even be mad at him, after all they knew each other longer. Everyone was expressing how much they missed him, everyone except Myungjun who was deep in thoughts. He had so many special memories and his sudden happiness was slowly crumbling down. It took him everything not to break down in tears and spill everything. He felt miserable, even worse than in these past weeks while remembering Jinwoo, while hoping for him to come back or at least write him a message. Everything Myungjun needed was a sign that he's okay and the reason for the breakup, he knew he couldn't force him to love him but they could try again if Jinwoo still loved him.

After they finished their meal the eldest quickly excused himself and went back home, into a home that didn't feel like one anymore. He still wished that everything wasn't real and that he would wake up beside the love of his life. He was so proud at himself for not falling apart today, that he could look back at their memories with a smile and now he felt even worse, he was devastated. Today Myungjun realized that he probably would never get over the breakup or that he could ever stop thinking about the boy who did so much for him but who also broke his heart. He always wondered how the younger felt if he was happy now or if he was suffering as much as he did. There was only one thing that he was sure of. If Jinwoo would ever come back he wouldn't hesitate to forgive him and start again, Jinwoo was his life and without him his life didn't make any sense anymore. Jinwoo was way more than his first crush, he was his first and only love, the person he wants to spend every minute of his life with.


	11. Chapter 10

** _Yes that's right,_ **

** _a thread that's cut off once_ **

** _It's hard to mend again_ **

** _The promises I made with you,_ **

** _I have to keep them_ **

These past weeks weren't only painful for Myungjun, despite his knowledge his friends realised that he wasn't feeling well. Dongmin was the first who noticed that he was behaving differently, that he wasn't as cheerful anymore and that he was always deeply lost in his own thoughts.

Bin was the second who realized it. It was when he told him about the trip to the beach he won. He knew that he didn't win this trip and he felt bad for going even if Myungjun said it was alright. He wouldn't have done this in the past, they all didn't have too much money so they had to save it for some time to buy such a trip. He talked with Dongmin about it, asked him if they should talk with him but it was the best decision not to force him to talk. Instead they wanted to wait for him to speak about it himself.

The third person who noticed was Sanha. He noticed it when he wanted to visit him but had to wait in front of his closed door for half an hour. He heard Myungjun's crying and wanted to talk with him desperately but he never opened the door for him. Afterwards Sanha quickly went to see Bin and Dongmin and told them about it. They were worried about him especially because he always pretended to be fine. That day was also the day Minhyuk realized it too.

Minhyuk was told about it by Sanha. The poor boy just couldn't stop worrying about him and needed to talk with his roommate about it. Thinking back Minhyuk noticed that he was in fact behaving strange, he wasn't the old Myungjun anymore but they all wanted to have him back. That night Sanha couldn't stop crying because he not only lost Jinwoo but also Myungjun.

The next day they decided to make a plan. They needed to talk with Myungjun and find out why he was so different. They wanted their friends back, it couldn't continue like that. It was hard for them all talking about the loss of their friends and what might have happened to Myungjun, it was obvious that he was sad because Jinwoo left but they still had to figure out why he was affected the most. Of course Sanha was suffering a lot too, being friends with Jinwoo since he was little but he still wasn't crumbling down like Myungjun did.

„Do you think that they fought before Jinwoo left?" Bin asked after a few minutes of silence, nervously biting his lips.

„I don't know. Something must have happened" Dongmin replied and fixed his gaze at Sanha.

„Did he tell you something?"

„No. He was just gone and Myungjun also didn't say a word. It's like they are both trying to keep something from us" Sanha replied with a sad look before he took a sip of his drink.

„It's all so weird. First Jinwoo left without saying a word and now Myungjun isn't himself anymore. It seems like something is terribly off. I think we missed something very important" Dongmin mumbled and everyone agreed. What happened these past few months definitely wasn't normal, everything changed drastically and ignoring it any longer wasn't an option anymore.

„Something must have happend between them. We might not know anything but I'm sure Myungjun hyung knows. I think we finally should talk with him" Bin said after a while.

„It must have been really bad if Jinwoo hyung left. I mean we all fought before but it's never been that worse."

„Even if it's hard for him I think we should talk with him about it. Myungjun hyung already changed so much and I worry about him. We need to know what happened in order to help him and Jinwoo hyung" Minhyuk said and everyone nodded, after all Minhyuk was right. Everyone could sense that something happened so now it was time to talk about it and solve the problems.

Myungjun on the other hand was more miserable than before, it was the first time since the breakup that he thought alcohol would help. It didn't help in the slightest he even felt more depressed and now he was also drunk, not even able to stand up without collapsing on the floor. Right now he was a mess, a crying and drunken mess. He was disappointed in himself for not being able to continue his life without Jinwoo and for breaking down like this. He never drank so much especially not to forget someone but he already did so many crazy things because of Jinwoo, because he loved him and didn't care what other people thought about him. He always remembered his mother's words but he wished he would have just listened to his heart once. If he did then maybe Jinwoo would be by his side now and he wouldn't be drinking 2 bottles of soju. Maybe everything would be the same, maybe Jinwoo would have left maybe he wouldn't. The only thing Myungjun knew was that he still loved and longed for the younger, hoping he'll someday come back to him.


	12. Chapter 11

** _No matter what anyone said, I only looked at you_ **

** _I thought a lot, I cried a lot_ **

** _Trying to keep each promise I made with you_ **

** _The fact that you're not by my side hits me hard and tells me_ **

** _Even in my dreams you're in my arms_ **

** _Why are you so far away_ **

** _You're so far turned away_ **

„I still love you. I'll never be able to forget you" Jinwoo mumbled, leaning against the cold wall while he looked out into the night sky.

„I should have told you. I shouldn't have left like that, it was the biggest mistake in my life but I can't change it. I'm sorry Myungjun. I promised you so much and I was the one who broke it" he whispered, his tears freely falling with every word. He didn't want everything to turn out like this, he wanted to be with Myungjun right now, cuddled up into their bed while watching a movie. It was everything he wanted and missed him

every day, feeling heavy with guilt.

Everyday he was away from Myungjun hurt, it made him suffer and he knew the older would probably feel the same way. It felt like going through hell, being away from the person who means everything to you but Jinwoo knew it was necessary. He didn't know how his life turned out like that or when everything started to become complicated, he didn't knew why he was feeling this way and he definitely couldn't comprehend how it was necessary to abandon the person he loved the most. It was all so sudden and he knew something had to change, he saw the look on his mother's face, the devastation and sadness.

He didn't know how late it was or how long he sat there just looking up into the sky but he couldn't sleep even if he was tired. He's been tired for days but he couldn't sleep, his thoughts always kept him awake and if he really fell asleep because of exhaustion the dreams of Myungjun haunted him, waking him up in hope it wasn't a dream. He wanted to call him, to tell him that he needed him

and ask him to forgive him. He would tell him everything but he couldn't call him, he didn't have his phone with him anymore it was the first thing that was taken away from him. They told him it would help but he felt even lonelier not even having the chance to call his parents or one of his closest friends.

The only thing that reminded him of Myungjun was a picture of him singing, the picture wasn't very old, reminding Jinwoo of the good times. He never thought he'd ever be in the situation he was in now, he hated that he wasn't able to keep the promises he made and that he had to break his lovers heart. His own aching heart was already worse enough but he couldn't stop thinking about how much Myungjun is hurting, how disappointed he was.

He wasn't happy about the current situation but he was very grateful when his mother visited him the next morning, a smile masking the worry on her face while she stepped closer, embracing him in a hug.

„Jinwoo-yah I know you're hurting. You can

tell me what's troubling you" she mumbled, softly stroking her son's hair while trying her best to stay calm.

„I don't want to be here. I'm sorry for everything but I want to go back home" he whispered, throat hoarse and hurting because of the last night.

„I know and you'll be able to go home soon. We all miss you but it's necessary."

„I can't stay longer. I need to go back to him" he whispered, not wanting to break down in front of her.

„Who is it you're talking about?" she gently asked, nothing but worry and understanding lacing her voice.

„Myungjun. I need to go back to him, I need to talk with him. It's been more than a month."

„There's more isn't it? You can talk with me about everything" she reassured her son, wiping away the stray tears from

the corner of his eyes.

„I love him. Ever since we met and it was perfect, it's been so long and now it's all over. I promised to never leave him and yet I was the one who broke that promise" he let everything out, all of his bottled up emotions and feelings now breaking free and he didn't care about it at that moment. It felt good to finally tell the truth and he had the feeling that his mother wouldn't be mad at him, he knew that she'd understand it.

Just when he thought she would answer he noticed another person stepping into the room, a person who helped him a lot these past few weeks but that person was also the cause of his suffering.

„Is everything alright. You should take these" he gently spoke and held out a sedative.

„I think it's time to go back home. The past few weeks were a big achievement and I can let you go with a good feeling. Make sure to come here once a week, just to make sure everything is fine. I'll finish the paperwork and wait for you in my office Mrs Park" he said and left again, the heavy pain in Jinwoo's chest disappearing completely.

„I'll be back in a few minutes. Make sure to pack everything" his mother said and left with a smile.

This day Jinwoo felt happy again but he was also anxious, he didn't know how Myungjun would react. He didn't know if he still loved him or if he'd ever be able to forgive him but he knew that he needed to see Myungjun immediately. His mother wasn't surprised when he told her to drop him off at the dorm while they started driving back home. All this time she had a smile painted on her face, hoping the best for her son and Myungjun.


	13. Chapter 12

_ **Time that endlessly flowed** _

_ **I want to turn it back** _

_ **It's all a dream, everything is a dream** _

_ **I try to convince myself but I know it's** _

_ **not** _

_ **It's all a lie will you come** _

_ **back to me?** _

_ **It may sound childish but I can't help** _

Everyday was the same for Myungjun ever since Jinwoo left him. As hours started to become days and days started to become weeks Myungjun also became only a reflection of his old self, he couldn't even recognize himself when he looked into the mirror.

At first he tried to pretend he's happy when he was with his friends but he could only endure it for a few days until his friends noticed. Myungjun drastically changed over a few weeks, he lost weight, he lost his happy self until he completely lost himself. He didn't know why he was still living, everything seemed pointless without Jinwoo by his side.

Sanha was the only reason he was still alive. Of course his friends were great but since Sanha was pretty close to Jinwoo he was very important to him, they grew very close after Jinwoo introduced him to Myungjun and he could always rely on the younger boy. It was Sanha who told him a few days after the breakup that Jinwoo wasn't in his old home anymore. He couldn't reach him on his phone so he didn't know where he was but he was certain he wasn't in the city anymore. Maybe he wasn't even in the same country as they were but Sanha didn't know either.

Sanha too didn't know about their relationship even if Myungjun assumed that he probably found out, the boy was too curious for his own good but he was at the point where he didn't really care anymore.

He only wanted to lay down in his bed the whole day and cry, well not even that, he just wanted to do nothing at all. Sleeping was everything he did the last few weeks even if that meant that his grades dropped rapidly too.

"We need to talk" were the first words that left Dongmin's lips when he stood in front of his apartment with Bin, Sanha and Minhyuk in tow.

"Is it important?" the older asked tiredly, he only wanted to go back to sleep.

"Yes it is importang hyung. We're all worried about you so can we please come in?"

"Alright come in" Myungjun replied and let his friends in, sitting down on his bed again.

"Hyung what happened to you? You changed so much over the last few weeks."

"I'm alright guys. Don't worry about me".

"You're not okay hyung. You aren't yourself anymore, what could have possibly happened for you to change this drastically? Had it something to do with Jinwoo?" Dongmin exclaimed, tears glistening in his eyes.

"Hyung what was your relationship with Jinwoo hyung?" Sanha asked with a sad look and a picture in his hand.

"W-what do you mean? We were friends just like you."

"Hyung why do you have this on your bedside table then?" Sanha replied and handed him the pic.

Myungjun remembered when he had taken this picture of Jinwoo. He didn't want to remember and he most definitely didn't want to cry but he couldn't suppress the tears and every single feeling he bottled up over the last few weeks broke down his barricade he built.

Words weren't needed anymore, his friends immediately hugged him and told him to just let everything out and Myungjun really needed it. He didn't even care that they saw his weak side and that he was the eldest, he just needed his friends in that moment to tell him it's okay to cry and they did. They sat there and rubbed his back, waiting for him to calm down before they decided to ask him about it.

"You loved him, didn't you?" Sanha mumbled and he only nodded.

"I wish we would know where he is or why he stopped talking with us. Jinwoo is not the type to just leave or break up through text message" Minhyuk mumbled and looked at all of his friends who only nodded in response.

"I only saw that one pic of him but that's it".

"I know but he won't come back even if I still hope he'll come back" Myungjun sniffled and wiped away his tears.

"I know him for so many years but it feels like I never really knew him" Sanha mumbled sadly. Sanha, Myungjun learned, was a very sensitive person and he hated it when people were fighting or when someone was sad in general and could become very clingy and sad himself.

"How long have you two been together?" Bin asked curiously.

"I met him in my last year of high school. He bumped into me the day I had my college entrance exam and we started dating shortly after. So it were like 4 years."

"You two looked good together" Dongmin mumbled while taking another picture from his bedside table.

"I want to be mad at him but I can't. I love him too much."

"Hyung what if something happened to him? I'm not saying that he had an accident but he would never leave without a reason, Jinwoo's not like that."

"That's why I'm not mad at him. I just want to know that he's okay."

"We all do."

"Do you think we will ever see him again?" Sanha asked close to tears as Dongmin hugged the younger boy to comfort him.

Myungjun asked himself that same question ever since their breakup and he knew he couldn't answer it. He wanted to say something but his doorbell cut through the silence.

"I'm going" the eldest mumbled and stood up to open the door for whoever decided to drop by at this hour.

Before he opened the door he wiped the last few tears from his eyes and fixed his hair, he didn't want to look the same way he felt.


	14. Chapter 13

** _It's only one day without you_ **

** _But it's hard, come back to me_ **

** _Tell me it's a lie_ **

** _Can't you?_ **

The moment Myungjun opened the door he felt as if someone pushed him off a cliff. He thought he was dreaming but he didn't know if it was a nightmare or not. He felt so many different emotions at once but in the end his tears won. The moment he let go of the door he broke down, loud sobs escaping his lips.

Myungjun thought he was hallucinating, he was sure about that until he finally heard the voice he missed so much again.

The moment he felt Jinwoo's arms around his torso, softly stroking his hair while tears were falling onto his dark hair he knew he was real.

"I'm so sorry baby. I've missed you so much, so incredibly much" he whispered almost inaudibly, only loud enough so Myungjun could understand him.

"Why? Why did you hurt me like that?" he sobbed, not caring about his friends in his room or how he looked right now.

"I really am so sorry. I've been hurting too and I know I shouldn't have left like that but I had no other choice."

"Why? Why Jinwoo? Why just leave me like that? It hurt so much" Myungjun cried while clinging onto Jinwoo, he missed him so much and he wasn't going to let him go anywhere.

"Can we go in and talk? There's a lot to talk about".

With a nod Myungjun got up but his legs were still wobbly and he tried his best not to collapse right in front of Jinwoo or his friends.

"I should let you know that everyone's here" the older mumblef before opening the door to his room, his friends looking expectant at him.

"Where have you been? " Sanha exclaimed as soon as he saw Jinwoo, a mix of anger and relief on his face.

"I owe all of you an apology. I'm sorry that things went this way but there was no other way. It was so unbelievably hard to leave all of you, especially you Myungjun" he said while looking at Myungjun.

„Why did you leave in the first place hyung?" Sanha asked with a pout, tears visible in his eyes.

„It wasn't really my decision to leave but it was necessary" he replied while being pulled down onto the ground to sit beside Myungjun.

„Why? Why haven't you told us that you have to leave. Where have you even been?" Dongmin questioned.

„It wasn't planned, it was a sudden decision and looking back I'm glad my parents reacted the way they did" the second oldest replied and Myungjun felt a sick feeling in his stomach, sensing that the story behind must be a lot deeper than he wanted it to be.

„You all deserve to know. It wasn't fair to leave all of you like that" the mumbled.

with a sad smile.

„You scare me Jinwoo" Myungjun mumbled and faced him completely, taking his hands into his.

„It wasn't easy. I didn't want to hurt you the same way I hurt myself. I figured you didn't deserve to be dragged down because of me."

„W-what are you talking about?"

„I'm sorry for what I did Myungjun but I have my reason so please listen to me and promise me to not hate me" the younger replied and was relieved when he felt Myungjun's grip around his hand tighten.

„It started a few days before I wrote that last message to you. I stopped coming to university or our apartment a few days prior and my mother noticed that too. I just didn't have the willpower or strength to go there, I felt safer at home so I just stayed there. I felt too weak to do anything, both emotionally and physically and I don't know what the trigger was. After a few days of watching my mother decided to talk with me but I didn't want to talk with her, I thought she wouldn't understand. After a whole morning of persuading I was willing to go see a doctor with her, only to make her feel better. I didn't really care about what the doctor had to say but when he demanded to examine me I knew that things would most likely change" Jinwoo explained to Myungjun who was listening attentively, already having a small idea of all the things that happened. The reat of their friends just remained silent, watching the couple.

„He transferred me directly into a psychosomatic hospital for further examinations and I never once saw my mother as shattered as she was when the doctor talked with her. Depressed, he told her, partly suicidal and self-harming. I felt horrible that day for making her feel like this and also for hurting you. It was when I realized that this fear of hurting people I love when I was younger became reality. It was also the day I wrote you before I had to hand over my phone to the doctor in order to fully concentrate on my recovery. The first days weren't much different, the biggest change was the medication and treatments I had to undergo. It was one month I had to stay there without any contact to my family or friends so I wouldn't get distracted but I couldn't stop thinking about you, you were on my mind every minute and second of the day. My mother once posted a picture of me and one of my old friends from school in order to make it seem like I'm not dead, she told me on the way back home before she dropped me off here."

„You could have told me. I would have stayed by your side in order to make you feel better" Myungjun whispered and felt tears spill from his eyes, knowing exactly how people felt when they were depressed.

„I never wanted to be a burden to anyone that's why I didn't tell anyone. I've experienced it in the past but I somehow managed it to always find a way out myself without anyone finding out."

„Y-you t-talked about self-h-harming before. Can I see it?" he asked with a shaky breath, scared the younger would shut him out of his life completely.

„I'm sorry Myungjun" he mumbled when he let go of his hands and gently rolled up the sleeves of his sweater, revealing dark bruises along with healing cuts.

„I should have noticed" he mumbled and gently traced his finger over them, afraid to hurt him.

„You couldn't. Most of them weren't there when we were together."

„Please Jinwoo let me help you. I don't want to be separated from you again and you're not a burden to me. It's not your fault that you're feeling this way. My mother also suffered from depression so I'm not scared of it" Myungjun said and looked up into the younger's eyes.

„I promise you I'll never leave your side no matter how much you want to be alone. I'll go with you to your therapy sessions because it's easier to not go through it alone. I've seen it all before and I only want your old happy self back. All this time I only wanted you to come back and now that you're finally here I won't just let you go again so please move back in with me" he whispered while tears streamed down his face.

Instead of replying, Jinwoo softly caressed his cheek before he pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

„I'm sorry Myungjun but this time I won't leave you ever again."


	15. Chapter 14

** _These scars belong to you, they are a part of you and they don't make you any less beautiful. I love you and that means every part of you._ **

** _These scars are a sign that you were stronger than you thought._ **

** _That you were able to make it through._ **

This evening a lot of tears were shed but they also fixed a relationship, a relationship that seemed doomed was now back stronger than before. Myungjun was finally back in Jinwoo's arms, cuddled up in their bed while he was softly tracing his fingers over the countless scars on the younger's arms.

„I am proud of you Jinwoo-yah" he whispered and looked into his boyfriend's dark eyes.

„Why?"

„Because you're a fighter. You hurt and suffered but you didn't give up and that makes me proud" he replied with a genuine smile.

„Thinking about you kept me alive" Jinwoo whispered against Myungjun's hair, taking him by surprise.

„I asked a shooting star to bring you back to me and then I couldn't stop thinking about what you kept from me in order not to hurt me and now I finally found out. I hopef it wouldn't have been that severe but I'm glad you're back now. You just need to tell me when you feel down" Myungjun replied, small tears forming in his eyes.

„I've cried so much and I thought you stopped loving me. I thought you left because I was so scared of other people's opinion. I know that I was a fool and I promise I'll change Jinwoo-yah."

„It wasn't your fault, it never was and it never will be. I never wanted to leave but I don't know if I'd still be alive if my mother wouldn't have found out. I realized that I couldn't go through this alone and that I need help. You always gave me strength and you did the past few weeks. The only fool was me".

„I'm so glad you're back. We both were fools and we need each other. My first crush, my first and only true love. You're the only one I want to grow old with" Myungjun confessed and Jinwoo couldn't hide his genuine smile.

„I could never imagine someone else by my side. These past weeks were enough for me to realize that you're my life. I feared that you would hate me for what I did, that you never wanted to see me again."

„Pabo. I could never hate you. Of course I suffered but we both did and I know now for sure that I love you even more now" Myungjun giggled while placing a gentle kiss on one of the scars.

„It was horrible without you. I missed your smile, your laugh, just everything about you. You are perfect the way you are."

„And so are you Jinwoo. Don't listen to this voice in your head telling you you're not worth it or that you don't deserve this because you do. For me you are perfect, you're good-looking, kind and everything else I want in a partner. When I first met you I already fell in love with you and every day I fall in love with you even more."

Slowly Myungjun looked up at Jinwoo and caught him already staring at him with all the love in his eyes, it reminded him of the past. Happily he wrapped his arms around his neck and smiled when the younger was finally kissing him, he missed this so much. Every little touch and kiss was enough for Myungjun to fall even deeper in love. He never thought he would be able to love so deeply, so truly and so madly. It felt like in the beginning of their relationship, he still got nervous whenever Jinwoo kissed him and he definitely never wanted to miss this again.

When they parted the older knew how incredibly lucky he was, the way Jinwoo helf him and hugged him, burying his head into his shoulder while mumbling ‚thank you' all over.

For Myungjun this was perfect, Jinwoo was perfect, they were perfect. One month was a long time, they had plenty time to think but looking back it made them stronger, their relationship but also themselves.

Myungjun was proud at Jinwoo for coming back and telling hin, for fighting all on his own and Jinwoo was so incredibly grateful. Because Myungjun understood and because he cared, he still loved and that was everything he could ask for. He forgave him so quickly, he supported him and didn't force him to talk.

After their friends left they both broke down crying, apologizing and talking about everything. It was definitely needed to talk about everything, Jinwoo told him about the hospital, his treatment and his therapy and even then Myungjun listened to him and promised him to be there with him, that he wasn't alone anymore. Myungjun promised him that no matter how much he begged him to leave he will never comply, that he'll be there whenever he needs him. He promised to make sure that he always takes his medication and that they'll both go to see his therapist from now one. He promised him to go through this together, that this won't be as hard together and he promised him that everything will be fine again.

Myungjun knew everything will be fine again, he experienced it once before and he'd do everything for Jinwoo to fully recover.

But Myungjun wasn't the only one who promised this evening. They both made new promises that weren't meant to be broken ever.

Jinwoo promised him to never leave him again, that he'll listen to him. It would be hard but with Myungjun it seemed doable.

Jinwoo promised him that from now on they'll talk about everything that bothered him and that they'll find a solution together.

The last promise he made wasn't audibly but visually . It was a small ring, a promise that he'll never leave and to change this ring into another one, a prettier and bigger one that will show everyone that they belong together.


	16. Chapter 15

** _I cried a lot, I hurt a lot but knowing that you felt the same all along, knowing that you never stopped loving me is enough to make up for it Jinwoo-yah._ **

** _I'll always love you and I knew I hurt you in the past._ **

** _Let's not hurt each other anymore, let's just love._ **

"I am relieved to know that there's someone looking after him and making sure to concentrate on recovery" the doctor said when he first met Myunjun during a therapy session, making the older smile brightly at the comment.

„It's not a big deal. I just want him to get better, of course I'll support him" he

replied to this.

„I'm sure having a friend like you will help a lot" the doctor directly spoke to Myungjun before he looked back at Jinwoo.

„I hope you don't mind me asking but do you have a girlfriend Jinwoo-yah? If yes it's important for her to know, maybe bring her with you so I can talk with her".

„Ah don't worry. He's with me" Myungjun happily said, surprising the younger because he was always scared of people finding out.

The doctor also seemed surprised but soon a small smile replaced his frown.

„I'm relieved then but there's still something I haven't told you. We are only at the start,there's still a long way ahead of us so Jinwoo will have to stay a few weeks here in the future if his condition get's worse. Even if it's hard I'll trust you that you'll take him here if you notice anything".

„I will after all my mother also suffered from depression. I know how serious it is" Myungjun replied and the doctor nodded at this.

„How do you feel Jinwoo? I haven't seen you for a while now" the doctor asked, after all it was still a therapy session.

„I feel good. I wasn't feeling that well the past few days but having Myungjun by my side really helped me a lot" he answered truthfully.

„What exactly was bothering you the past few days?"

„A lot of things were on my mind. One of them was the thought of not being good enough. I felt like everyone was pitying me and that nobody really wanted me. I felt like I'm not worth it and that nobody would miss me if I'm gone."

„So what did you do? Did you cut yourself or just hid yourself from everyone?"

„No. I talked about it. I promised Myungjun to tell him whenever I feel bad so I did" Jinwoo replied with a small smile.

„How were you feeling after you talked about it?" the doctor asked while writing everything down.

„I felt better. We talked about everything that was bothering me or Myungjun. It's good if you can talk with someone about everything."

„I'm glad to hear that. So Myungjun how were you feeling when Jinwoo talked with you?"

„First I was sad and also mad at myself for not noticing it earlier but I was happy that Jinwoo talked about it. I noticed that it wasn't easy for him but he still did it. When he told me that he feels worthless I was sad, I love him wholeheartedly but knowing how he feels makes it easier for me. This way I know exactly what I can do to help him, to make him feel better."

„So did it put weight on you?"

„I don't know, maybe but it's nothing I couldn't cope with. Seeing my mother depressed and helping her was worse. I was younger and I almost broke down under the pressure but this time it's different. I love Jinwoo and seeing him happy makes me also happy, being with him is everything I want and need. I'm sure we will manage to get through this together" Myungjun replied while intertwining their fingers.

„What would you do if someone would insult your relationship or Myungjun?"

„I would protect him. If people doesn't like the fact that we're together it's their problem" Jinwoo replied without even hesitating for a second.

„That's a solid answer. I think it's enough for today. Please come back in two weeks or earlier if necessary" the doctor said and shook their hands before he guided them out of the office.

Ever since they got back together everything was almost the way it was before everything happened. There were a few differences but all in all Myungjun was glad that Jinwoo was back and Jinwoo also was glad to have Myungjun back. Their love got even stronger because of their break especially after Myungjun realized how much the younger missed him and that he hurt as much as he did. Their promise of always telling the other how they feel was made to prevent such situations from happening again. With every passing day it was visible how much Jinwoo changed, he felt happier each day only because of Myungjun and it made the older happy to see his boyfriend being like this again. Everyday they were lying on their bed cuddled up to each other they talked about how much they love each other, how much the other meant to them and that they never want to be separated again. Everytime they kissed it was like they kissed for the first time, filled with emotions and leaving them breathless and it was exactly what they both wanted. In their eyes their relationship was perfect.


	17. Epilogue

** _I've always worried about what other people were thinking about me, about us but this is over now._ **

** _When you were gone I realized the mistake I made and I don't want to hide away in fear anymore._ **

** _It's time to show who I really am, it's time to tell the whole world that I love you._ **

The wind gently blew away the stray autumn leaves, making them dance in the sky.

Myungjun loved Autumn, he loved every Season especially now that he wasn't alone anymore, that Jinwoo was by his side again making him the happiest person on earth once again.

Despite the things he said and thought about while he was alone he could never hate Jinwoo, after all he didn't leave him without a reason. He didn't leave him because of someone else he only left to save his own life.

As someone who saw all of this before he knew how weak and helpless you could feel when you're depressed. He knew about the voice always telling one that you're not worth it, that nobody needs you and he saw what it did to people. He was scared when he learned more about the disease, when he saw how his mother suffered and his father stayed late at work because he didn't know how to help her. It was Myungjun who helped her, who supported her and who managed to bring back her old self.

He forgot about it eventually but now he was confronted with it again and it brought back old memories the only difference this time was that he was oblivious to how Jinwoo felt, that he couldn't help him from the beginning.

„What are you thinking about?" Jinwoo asked as he noticed how silent his usually talkative boyfriend was, gently nudging his side to get the attention of the older boy.

„I was thinking about my mother. Also about you" Myungjun replied with a wistful smile, not really hiding the fact that he was upset.

„You know that I am sorry about it" the younger mumbled while casting his gaze away from Myungjun.

„She always told me the same but I always hated that sentence. It's nothing to be sorry about, nobody can chose this. It's a disease, nothing we can influence. I was just thinking about how I didn't notice that you were suffering. I wish I could have helped you earlier."

„You couldn't. When we were together I was fine, at least I thought that. As soon as I felt worse again I stayed away from you. I didn't want you to find out about it. Nobody knew about it not even my parents" Jinwoo sighed and stopped to look at the slightly taller boy.

His cheeks were flushed and he looked at him with a pout, his breath visible in the autumn air.

„I came back and told you because I'm too much in love with you and I don't want to live without you. It was only my decision for you to find out and now you're the most supportive boyfriend I could ever wish for."

„I'm sorry. I just wished you wouldn't have had to experience and go through this alone" Myungjun almost whispered, his hands finding it's way into Jinwoo's before he looked back at him.

„I don't care about your scars but it's almost inconceivable how much you suffered on your own, all I want is to take that pain away from you" softly tracing his fingers over the most recent scars on the back of the younger's hand.

„You have no idea how much pain you've already taken away from me. You've seen me in my weakest state and I fully and wholeheartedly trust you Myungjun."

Smiling, Myungjun pulled one hand away from Jinwoo's and moved it to his neck instead before he leaned in to press a kiss to his lips, out in the busy streets where everyone could see.

„I'm not worried about the opinion of others anymore Jinwoo-yah. If you agree I want to introduce you to my parents" Myungjun happily said after his sudden act, his hand not leaving the younger's neck.

„Only if you're willing to meet mine again. You left quite an impression at my graduation" Jinwoo replied with a smile, a smile that wasn't faked or forced, a smile Myungjun was happy to see again.

„Of course. I won't leave your side ever again. You're stuck with me forever" Myungjun giggled and leaned into the hug the younger was offering.

„Do you remember the shooting star on our first date?" he whispered, only for them to hear.

„Yes and it granted both of our wishes" Myungjun replied before he pulled away only to kiss his boyfriend again.

A few hours later Myungjun was happily hugging his mother while his father proudly patted his shoulder, they looked happy to see their son again.

„It's been so long Myungjun-ah" his mother mumbled before he let go of him.

„I know. I've missed you a lot but I was busy with university" he apologized with a bright smile.

„I see you've brought a friend. Come in you two" his father said and guided them into the living room.

„I think we haven't seen each other before" Myungjun's father spoke when they were seated on the sofa, his words directed to the younger boy.

„My name is Park Jinwoo. We share a dorm in university" he introduced.

„So you met in university?" his mother asked and the younger shook his head before answering.

„No we've met before university. I'm actually 2 years younger".

„Eomma I once told you about Jinwoo" Myungjun said, slightly nervous about their reaction.

„When?"

„First I want to say that a lot of things happened these past few years, I also changed a lot but the most important thing is that I found true love. Remember when I called you to ask you what to wear on my date?" he asked and closed his eyes while taking a deep breath.

„I do. So you weren't going on a date with a girl?" she mumbled and looked to her husband.

„No I wasn't."

„As long as you're happy it's alright" his father said, surprising him.

„You are welcome here anytime but if you break his heart you'll have to stay away from him" his father warned, making Myungjun giggle.

„Don't be so hard on him. We've already had our difficulties so there's nothing to worry about. We won't hurt each other again" Myungjun said while grabbing Jinwoo's hand looking at him with a bright smile.

„So how long have you been a couple?" his mother asked with a small smile, it reminded Jinwoo a lot of Myungjun's smile. He definitely had it from his mother.

„4 years. The best 4 years in my whole life" Myungjun said proudly and he could see that his parents were happy for him, for them. They weren't mad or disgusted, just happy that Myungjun was happy with Jinwoo by his side.

When they left it was already evening but they still had to visit Jinwoo's parents, they promised to meet them. So when they arrived at 10 PM they were happily welcomed, Jinwoo's mother hugging the both of them before they sat down in the kitchen.

„Is everything alright?" his mother immediately asked, it still wasn't easy to cope with all the events from the past weeks.

„Everything's perfect. In fact I am here to formerly introduce Myungjun as my boyfriend" Jinwoo replied and the smile on his mother's face made him realize that it was worth it.

„Congratulations. Make sure to take good care of each other" his father said and Myungjun let out a sigh of relief.

„We will appa. In fact Myungjun is the most supportive and understanding person I know. As long as he's with me you don't have to worry."

This evening had to be one of their best memories together as a couple. They didn't have to hide anymore, their parents supported them and they were finally back together, happier than before.


End file.
